巨流集 2025 The Boundless Great Torrent 2025 第 10 篇 Section 10
九月 星空依旧浪漫 September: The Starry Sky Remains Romantic
返回 巨流集 2025 Back to The Boundless Great Torrent 2025之前看到一条说说：“是不是很久没在空间里谈星空和浪漫这些词语了，因为上大学了。” 可是到了现在的年纪，我们却更常在现实里谈论“婚姻、就业、考研”这些词语，志向和浪漫或许依旧在血液里涌动，但是现实的东西在慢慢地吸烟刻肺。
I once saw a post on Qzone: “Has it been a long time since anyone talked about starry skies and romance on here? That’s because we went to college.” Yet having reached our current age, we find ourselves discussing “marriage, employment, postgraduate entrance exams” far more often in reality. Ambition and romance may still course through our veins, but the gritty realities of life are slowly, relentlessly etched into our lungs like cigarette smoke.
我们怀念从前，可以不负责任地放肆一往无前，从不惧怕当下流逝，因为总有未来在憧憬。九年义务教育似乎理所当然地划定了少年时期的路径，让人盼望着快快长大——直到高考成为一个屡屡提及、却不愿回首的旧词。
We yearn for the past, when we could forge ahead with reckless abandon, never fearing the slip of the present moment because there was always a future to dream of. Nine years of compulsory education seemed to naturally chart the course of our youth, making us eager to grow up quickly—until the Gaokao became a weathered word, frequently mentioned yet painful to look back upon.
黄金时代或许真的过去，接下来是第四纪。
Perhaps the Golden Age has truly passed; what follows is the Quaternary.
996与内卷下的小孩早就精疲力尽，麻木过着父母光环或阴霾之下的生活。有人想在精致的庇护下永远理所当然，有人选择继续挟持父母的责任与爱，也有人想要尽快地独立超然。
Children reared under 996 and rat races have long since been exhausted, numbly living either in the halo or under the shadow of their parents. Some wish to take exquisite shelter forever for granted; some choose to hold their parents’ love and sense of duty hostage; others yearn to achieve detached independence as swiftly as possible.
22岁。有人在迈向成年，有人还在缝补童年。
Twenty-two. Some are stepping into adulthood; others are still patching up their childhood.
我已无法再浑浑噩噩地度过那些莫名其妙的日子。朋友圈里满屏的花束与礼物，让我也渴望一份此时此刻的真实相拥。晚上九点半的图书馆人头攒动，清晨八点的座位早已满员，连我这个“躺平”的人，内心都被焦虑悄然吞没。人间的人潮推着我往前走。
I can no longer drift aimlessly through these baffling days. Feeds overflowing with bouquets and gifts make me crave a genuine embrace in the here and now. The library at 9:30 p.m. teems with crowds; by 8:00 a.m. the seats are already fully claimed. Even someone like me, who claimed to “lie flat,” finds his heart quietly engulfed by anxiety. The tide of humanity shoves me forward.
就算身处大内卷时代，就算我坚信自己与众不同，就算我仍以为能一直赤诚地去爱，仍幻想自己永远十八岁、甚至永远三岁，但终究还是在不知不觉间，远离了那长达20余年的孩提时代。
Even stranded in an era of hyper-involution, even believing fiercely that I am distinct, even imagining I can forever love with pure sincerity and fantasizing that I will stay forever eighteen, or even three years old, I have nevertheless, without realizing it, drifted far from the childhood that spanned over two decades.
Notion偶尔提醒我：恋爱走过了多少天，日子已经跨过多少年，才发现试错的成本正越来越沉重。我担心的不是运气终有耗尽的一天，而是那个时刻是否早已悄然到来；我害怕的也不是所谓“重大抉择”的临近，而是这些抉择其实早在不经意间被定型。
Notion occasionally reminds me: how many days a relationship has lasted, how many years have slipped by, and I suddenly realize that the cost of trial and error is growing heavier by the day. What I worry about is not that luck will eventually run dry, but whether that moment has already quietly arrived; what I fear is not the approach of so-called “pivotal crossroads,” but that these choices were already irrevocably cast before I even noticed.
一想到我可能真的要像世界给予我们的定式一样去度过以后的日子，而若不符合这种定式，焦虑就会踢着我的屁股。明明如今人的平均寿命已到七八十岁，高一的地理课本早就告诉我老龄化趋势愈加严重，可偏偏青年人的焦虑却被更加超前地放置。
The thought that I might truly have to live out my remaining days following the prescribed formulas dictated by the world—and that if I deviate from that formula, anxiety will kick me relentlessly—haunts me. Average life expectancy has already climbed to seventy or eighty, and tenth-grade geography textbooks long warned me of intensifying societal aging; yet somehow, the anxieties of youth have been brought forward to strike even earlier.
我好想回到那个初二暑假中午十二点起床坐到电脑桌前看《西部世界》到凌晨的日子。可我又能怎么办？很遗憾，22岁的我仍没有答案。
How desperately I wish to return to that eighth-grade summer vacation: waking up at noon, sitting at the computer desk, and binge-watching Westworld until the early hours. But what else can I do? Sadly, at twenty-two, I still have no answer.
电影《毕业生》的结尾处，男主带领女主逃婚私奔，本来剧本以这个镜头作为结尾，而导演并没有喊cut，男主和女主从笑容转向相视无言再到迷茫的望向前方，我们多希望生活是场意味悠长的open ending，镜头定格在樱花飘落空中的时刻，但，故事总会继续。我才22岁啊，我充满对未知的探索和希望、充满力量与勇气，因为我22岁，更因为我是我。我不是别人，而是我啊。
At the end of the film The Graduate, the male protagonist helps the bride flee her wedding. The script originally intended to conclude on that triumph, yet the director didn’t call cut; the couple’s exuberant grins faded into mutual silence, and then into a lost, bewildered gaze toward the open road ahead. How we yearn for life to be an open ending rich with resonance, with the camera freezing at the very instant cherry blossoms drift through the air. Yet the story always continues. I am only twenty-two; I am brimming with exploration, hope for the unknown, strength, and courage—because I am twenty-two, and even more because I am myself. I am no one else, but me.
剩下的，只能交给时间了。祝我生日快乐🎂
The rest can only be entrusted to time. Happy birthday to me. 🎂