光阴集 2024 The Gilded Years 2024 第 08 篇 Section 08
八月 天空没有极限 August: The Sky Has No Limit
返回 光阴集 2024 Back to The Gilded Years 2024一直想要保留一些“天真”，可以说是我的浪漫主义作祟，随手记下的在济南的思绪，现在回想起来都是神奇而无遗憾的瞬间。相较于“蜷缩混沌”的2023年，2024年我的生活姿态更加轻盈，精神生活更加富足，真好，真好。
I have always sought to preserve a measure of “innocence”—perhaps my romanticism at work. The thoughts casually scribbled down in Jinan now feel like enchanted, regret-free moments. Compared to the “cowering chaos” of 2023, my posture in 2024 has grown lighter, my spiritual life richer. How wonderful, how truly wonderful.
现在看大学和高中相比，真是一个赢家通吃的时代。我的野望与自尊昭示着我的前进方向。以前焦虑的时候会习惯抓着手机，不看什么都行，时间就刷刷过去了，但和学长学姐相处时却对手机兴趣大减了，我静静倾听、感受着他们的生活，也许未来的某一天我也会把这些经验传递下去。
Looking back now, university compared to high school is undeniably an era of winner-takes-all. My ambition and pride chart the course of my advance. In the past, whenever anxiety struck, I would reflexively clutch my phone, scrolling mindlessly as hours slipped through my fingers. Yet in the presence of upperclassmen, my appetite for the screen withered; I listened in silence, taking in the cadence of their lives, wondering if perhaps one day I too might pass these lessons along.
大学上到现在，依旧会本能反感那种把人圈到一起就开始社交的活动——在这种活动中，大家都戴着一顶似有似无的面纱，看不真切。我想要那种淳朴的、大方自信的单纯社交，也许正因发现了这样的幼稚与弱点，我在内心中不自觉排斥自己已经变E了的事实，却又欣喜地看到我与朋友们更健谈了。与人相处就像是在读别人的传记，能够避免心灵的钝化，看别人的故事也是。
Having reached this stage of college, I still instinctively bristle at events where crowds are herded together to socialize—gatherings where everyone wears a translucent, elusive veil, never seen clearly. I crave sincere, open, confident, uncomplicated connection. Perhaps precisely because I recognized this childish vulnerability, I subconsciously resisted the reality that I had become an Extrovert, yet celebrated seeing myself converse with ease among friends. Being with others is like reading someone else’s biography; it guards against the calcification of the soul. Immersing myself in other people’s narratives does the same.
向上社交、学科热爱、考研正反馈、好文艺作品，这是我目前生活中的四大精神支柱，我姐当时大一就说我之所以想谈恋爱就是因为太闲了，其实深意是当时我的大学阶段的锚点过少，对大学生活、对本专业、对与社会联结的了解都没有什么进展，便急于给自己安排生活，于是给自己留下遗憾。
Upward networking, passion for my major, positive feedback loops from postgrad exam prep, and exceptional art: these form the four spiritual pillars of my current existence. Back in my freshman year, my sister remarked that my urge to date stemmed entirely from having too much idle time on my hands. Her deeper point was that my anchor points in college were far too few; having made scant headway in understanding campus life, my academic field, or connections to broader society, I was in a rush to orchestrate my personal life, thereby courting regret.
现在的我少了对于生活的焦虑，而对威海这座城市的怨怼事实上也更多源自于其地理位置。很多时候会有些遗憾：要是能在一座城市、一个学校该有多好啊，这样就可以一时兴起一起冲出去看海了……威海这座城市，还是不适合久居，也容易让我困于所热爱的事物。归根到底，我以依附于朋友的情感为生……
Today, life provokes far less anxiety within me, and my resentment toward the city of Weihai is in fact mostly rooted in its geographical location. So often a fleeting lament surfaces: how wonderful it would be if we shared the same city and the same campus—we could dash out on a whim to gaze at the sea… Weihai remains ill-suited for long-term habitation; it traps me too easily within the confines of what I love. When all is said and done, I survive on the warmth I draw from my friends…
事实上，从我进入大学的那一刻开始，我过去的一切便都已经随风而逝了。这两年我做的唯一一件事便是，努力用无与伦比的精致，延续着这份来自记忆的幻象。大三，还是更应该踏踏实实地前进，始终相信努力之后，我的天空便没有极限。
The truth is, the moment I set foot in university, everything of my past scattered to the winds. The only thing I accomplished over these past two years was laboring, with exquisite delicacy, to sustain an illusion salvaged from memory. As a junior, I must plant my feet on the ground and forge ahead, holding fast to the conviction that after honest toil, the sky has no limit.
It’s Time For Me To Get Real About Life，And Sort Out Who We Really Are.
Wake Up！Get Real！