巨流集 2025 The Boundless Great Torrent 2025 第 09 篇 Section 09
八月 第零次死亡 August: The Zeroth Death
返回 巨流集 2025 Back to The Boundless Great Torrent 2025还记得两三年前刚刚接触 K-pop 学习粉圈用语时，被“接生粉”一词悄悄震撼。这个词直白地告诉我：“是粉丝给了爱豆第二次生命。”那么理所应当，组合解散、成员解约大抵便可比作一个爱豆的第零次死亡。
I still remember when I first got into K-pop two or three years ago and began picking up fandom jargon, how quietly shaken I was by the term “midwife fan” (jie-sheng fan). The term candidly declared: “It is the fans who give the idol a second life.” By that same token, a group’s disbandment or a member’s contract termination can roughly be likened to an idol’s zeroth death.
坦白来说，年轻的我还从未经历过同龄人的死亡，单单是知交的疏离即足以使我感怀神伤，这应该能解释为什么 23 年初我看着 JINNI 的解约消息会感伤至落泪。到如今，看到孙慧舟注销 IG 还是会很唏嘘。原本以为会一直陪伴我的在舞台上闪闪发光的爱豆在一夜间便悄悄与聚光灯告了别，就好像她从来没有来过……从此纵泱泱互联网之大，也再难听闻她一点消息了。
To be frank, young as I am, I have never experienced the death of a peer. Even the estrangement of a close friend is enough to leave me deeply sorrowful—which probably explains why, in early 2023, watching the news of JINNI’s contract termination moved me to tears. Even today, seeing Son Hye-ju delete her Instagram still brings a wistful sigh. An idol I thought would always accompany me, shining brilliantly upon the stage, quietly bid farewell to the spotlight overnight, as though she had never been there at all… From that moment on, across the vast expanse of the internet, one could scarcely hear another whisper of her.
昨天上午，Purple Kiss 突然通过新闻稿宣布 11 月解散，不免让我想起去年年末 fromis_9 于 11 月宣告年底解散时的心情：最后几个月明知道组合即将解散，我该如何追她们？或者换句话说，如果爱的人行将就木，我该如何面对？我惊讶地发现我的大脑里对此一片空白，经史子集里的高谈阔论落在现实便显得空洞而虚伪……我想，在过往的岁月里我还是太缺乏爱人的教育，于是我难以接住从天而降的爱，也难以释怀终将到来的离别乃至死亡。
Yesterday morning, Purple Kiss abruptly announced via press release that they would disband in November. It inevitably reminded me of my feelings late last year when fromis_9 announced in November that they would disband at year’s end: during those final months, knowing full well the group was about to dissolve, how was I supposed to follow them? Or put another way, when someone you love is approaching the grave, how do you face it? I was astonished to find my mind a total blank. The lofty discourses in ancient classics fall hollow and hypocritical when brought to bear on reality… I think that in past years, I was sorely lacking in an education on how to love; hence, I struggled to receive unexpected love, and found it equally hard to make peace with inevitable partings, or even death itself.
上个月和辉聊天时，他说过的一句话始终萦绕在我的脑海里：“我想赶紧去社会上打拼打拼，书读得也够多了。”好像人在这个阶段一旦停下来，就会永远停下来了。这个暑假，我如困兽般枯坐于家中，惊觉大人已经不再把我看作小孩。我们总是来不及细细咀嚼，便被匆匆推入下一段人生；却又并未真正学会，如何以更深的视角迎接离别，乃至死亡的必然。也许，只有当我学会更好地“活在当下”，生命的有限性才会成为我的勇气，而非桎梏。
Last month while chatting with Hui, a phrase he uttered kept echoing in my mind: “I want to hurry up and get out into society to fight my way forward; I’ve read enough books already.” It feels as though at this stage, once a person stops, they stop forever. This summer vacation, I sat trapped at home like a caged beast, suddenly realizing that adults no longer viewed me as a child. We are always shoved hurriedly into the next chapter of life before we have time to savor the present; yet we have never truly learned how to embrace partings, or even the inevitability of death, from a deeper vantage point. Perhaps only when I learn to better “live in the moment” will the finitude of life become my source of courage rather than my shackle.
我始终愿意在逐渐稀薄的真心里留下一片净土，期待下一次灵魂碰撞的时刻，即便那看起来仍会使人伤痕累累。所谓“圆满丰盈的灵魂互相照见，互相滋养；蓬勃、赤诚、纯真地相爱。”当然，我也不必始终怀抱期待。面对任何一段关系，都不必预设回报；只需问心无愧，付出真心。若最终得不到同等的真诚，便体面地转身离开，不必后悔，也不必埋怨。该后悔的，从来不是真诚的人。
I remain forever willing to preserve a plot of pure land within my gradually thinning sincerity, eagerly awaiting the next collision of souls—even if it appears destined to leave one bruised and battered. The so-called “abundant, fulfilled souls illuminating and nourishing one another; loving vigorously, earnestly, and innocently.” Of course, I need not always cling to expectations. When entering any relationship, there is no need to preset a return on investment; simply maintain a clear conscience and offer genuine sincerity. If in the end an equal sincerity is not returned, simply turn and walk away with dignity—without regret, and without blame. The one who should regret is never the one who was sincere.
用 Red Velvet《My Dear》的歌词作结吧：“很久很久以后，连我们的痕迹也被抹去的时候，无论在何处相见，我也不会忘记今天的心情。”当日神精神重新笼罩大地，我依然怀念那个酒神狂醉的时代。虽然它已过去，因为它已过去。
Let me conclude with lyrics from Red Velvet’s “My Dear”: “A long, long time from now, when even our traces have been erased, wherever we meet again, I will never forget how I felt today.” As the Apollonian spirit blankets the earth once more, I still long for that era of Dionysian intoxication. Even though it is past, precisely because it is past.
舞台灯光缓慢熄灭，静静等待、被下一次点亮。
The stage lights dim slowly, quietly waiting to be illuminated next time.
附：截至2025.8仍未解散的18-21年出道女团
Appendix: 2018–2021 Debut Girl Groups Not Yet Disbanded as of August 2025
粗体为团体获得过音乐节目一位
Bold denotes groups that have won first place on a music show
2018 fromis_9【重组，人员变动9➡️5】、idle【改名，人员变动6➡️5】、DreamNote【人员变动8➡️6，近一年无作品】
2018: fromis_9 [Reorganized, lineup change: 9 ➡️ 5], (G)I-DLE [Renamed, lineup change: 6 ➡️ 5], DreamNote [Lineup change: 8 ➡️ 6, no new releases for nearly a year]
2019 ITZY、Everglow【人员变动6➡️4，近一年无作品，9月重组活动】
2019: ITZY, Everglow [Lineup change: 6 ➡️ 4, no new releases for nearly a year, reorganization promotions in September]
2020 STAYC、aespa、blackswan【人员大换血4➡️4】、CRAXY【人员变动5➡️4，近一年无作品】、wooah【人员变动6➡️5，近一年无作品】
2020: STAYC, aespa, Blackswan [Complete overhaul: 4 ➡️ 4], CRAXY [Lineup change: 5 ➡️ 4, no new releases for nearly a year], woo!ah! [Lineup change: 6 ➡️ 5, no new releases for nearly a year]
2021 IVE、Billlie、ICHILLIN‘【人员变动8➡️7】、lightsum【人员变动8➡️6，近一年无作品】
2021: IVE, Billlie, ICHILLIN’ [Lineup change: 8 ➡️ 7], LIGHTSUM [Lineup change: 8 ➡️ 6, no new releases for nearly a year]
现在回望，18-21年这段时间的K-pop实在太有趣了，不仅是很多大势团这几年保持着高水平的实验性艺术尝试，很多二三线的歌曲也可圈可点的，更难得的是很多四五线的超小众高质量团都在活动（例如pixy、craxy、bugaboo、secret number、weeekly啥的，这两年开始销声匿迹或者质量全面下降了），这两年的K-pop在创新性上是真的有点疲软，真的很感谢我们nmixx走了一点小弯路之后继续坚持了初心……
Looking back now, K-pop between 2018 and 2021 was truly fascinating. Not only did many top-tier groups maintain a high standard of experimental artistic endeavors during those years, but many second- and third-tier tracks were remarkably commendable. What was even rarer was that numerous fourth- and fifth-tier ultra-niche, high-quality groups were actively releasing music (such as PIXY, CRAXY, bugAboo, SECRET NUMBER, Weeekly, etc., which have either vanished or suffered overall drops in quality over the past two years). In the last two years, K-pop has felt somewhat sluggish in terms of innovation. I am truly grateful that our NMIXX, after taking a slight detour, held fast to their original vision…