光阴集 2024 The Gilded Years 2024 第 07 篇 Section 07
七月 新儒家的诞生 July: The Birth of a New Confucian
返回 光阴集 2024 Back to The Gilded Years 2024一个应当珍惜的、并非人人都有机会看到的夏天，一个在平静中痛定思痛的夏天。
A summer that ought to be cherished, one not everyone is granted the privilege to witness—a summer of deep reflection and painful self-reckoning enveloped in quiet calm.
居家生活颇为平淡，随便在相册里拾掇了点东西整理一下，感觉特别扁平。值得记下的东西都在脑子里，比如一次又一次微信夜聊中频繁冒出的金句，比如杨德昌和与恶在我思想里掀起的轩然巨波。我盘旋在无数个瞬间里。我像一只在过往里盘旋的鸟儿，或者是飘转的落叶，轻盈地不知所踪地划掠过人生的一切境遇。
Living at home was rather mundane; casually picking through my photo album to tidy things up, everything felt exceedingly flat. The things genuinely worth recording resided entirely in my mind: golden epigrams cropping up incessantly during late-night WeChat chats; the monumental seismic waves stirred within my thoughts by Edward Yang and The World Between Us. I hovered amid countless fragmented moments—like a bird wheeling over bygone years, or a drifting fallen leaf, skimming weightlessly and without a trace across every condition of human life.
我自恃过的一切才华与机敏，一切无所由的孤高与傲慢，以及兴许存在过的一丝灵性的踪迹，对于当下而言，早已消散在了旧时光里。偶尔也想当个浪漫的收藏家，把称得上有趣的日子裁剪下来织成绚丽的云锦。好多东西都值得收藏，真的。
All the brilliance and wit I once prided myself on, all the groundless haughtiness and arrogance, even whatever trace of spiritual spark might have once flickered within me—for the present moment, all have long since dissolved into old time. Occasionally, I wish to become a romantic collector, clipping out days worthy of being called interesting and weaving them into magnificent brocades of clouds. So many things are worth preserving, truly.
于是想要克己复礼，于是踌躇满志想在新学期当个新儒家。
And so I yearn to restrain the self and return to propriety, brimming with quiet ambition to become a New Confucian in the upcoming semester.
我开始无得无失，停止了或悲或离，因为我尚且一无所有，没有事物能够轻易把我所拥有的一切消掉，没有事物能将我捧至高高在上的虚空中，我开始从土地的角度凝视。我并不担忧，我看到的是，我仍将前进并将始终前进，我看到我仍拥有对于未知险峰的无畏无惧，我看到我会一直走下去。
I have begun to regard neither gain nor loss, ceasing to lament parting or sorrow. Having nothing yet, there is nothing that can easily strip away what I possess, nor elevate me into an aloft void; I have begun to gaze at the world from the perspective of the soil. I am not anxious; what I see is that I shall still move forward, perpetually moving forward; I see that I still harbor fearless audacity before unknown towering peaks; I see that I will walk on, unbroken.
敬没有绝对的真理，敬有绝对自由的选择，敬不随波逐流的自我，敬情感信仰和骚动，敬不同凡响的思想，敬肆无忌惮的欢笑，敬友谊，敬挑战，敬冰雪，敬每一寸不曾被辜负的阳光。
Here’s to the absence of absolute truth; here’s to the absolute freedom of choice; here’s to the self that refuses to drift with the tide; here’s to emotional faith and inner turbulence; here’s to extraordinary ideas; here’s to unbridled laughter; here’s to friendship, to challenges, to ice and snow; here’s to every square inch of sunshine never squandered.
敬20岁的自己。
Here’s to my twenty-year-old self.
后记：1980年春节，王蒙从西安坐了两个多小时的闷罐子车到三原看望读军校的儿子，写下了《春之声》，
2024年盛夏，我从江南顺江而上赶来看望爷爷，歇脚于下榻五人之闷室，数删数改，写下此感。
Postscript: In the Spring Festival of 1980, Wang Meng rode an unventilated freight car for over two hours from Xi’an to Sanyuan to visit his son at a military academy, penning “Voices of Spring.”
In the high summer of 2024, I traveled upstream along the Yangtze from Jiangnan to visit my grandfather, lodging in a sweltering room crowded with five people, deleting and revising several times to record this sentiment.