巨流集 2025 The Boundless Great Torrent 2025 第 02 篇 Section 02
一月 西风颂 January: Ode to the West Wind
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“你还好吗？我觉得我已经烧光了像落山的太阳。”
“Are you alright? I feel like I’ve burned out entirely, like the setting sun.”
现在威海的雪花堆满街道了吗——我想到了刚才的梦，被白色铺满的街道，抱月岩的影子映在我的背后——也可能是夕阳的余晖。一日又一日单调重复的活动已经使我忘记了日期这一分隔时间的符号。元旦？我扫了一眼四周空旷的海滩，不由自主地感叹道：“或许明天就是元旦。”
Are the streets of Weihai piled high with snowflakes right now?—I recalled the dream I just had: streets blanketed in white, the shadow of Moon-Embracing Rock falling behind me—or perhaps it was merely the afterglow of dusk. Day after day of monotonous, repetitive routines had caused me to forget the date, that arbitrary symbol devised to divide time. New Year’s Day? Glancing around the desolate beach, I couldn’t help but sigh: “Perhaps tomorrow is New Year’s Day.”
——可那又有什么关系呢？元旦是辞旧迎新的节点，孩子的嬉笑声总在这天显得更轻快，但萎靡的经济摧毁了这一期盼，压垮了天真的欢愉。我一直认为，在寒风割面之前，用以丈量少年时代的，是所见、所闻、所感。但倘若你走上威海的街道拦住一个小孩，问他愿意成为怎样的人，他会低头说：“只想要个安稳的日子。”
—Yet what difference does it make? New Year’s Day is meant to be a juncture for bidding farewell to the old and welcoming the new, a day when children’s laughter always sounds a little lighter. But a sluggish economy has hollowed out that anticipation, crushing naive joy. I had always believed that before the winter wind cuts into one’s cheeks, youth is measured by what is seen, heard, and felt. Yet if you were to walk down the streets of Weihai and stop a child to ask what kind of person they aspire to become, they would lower their head and murmur: “I only want a stable life.”
翻看曾经的相册，似乎发觉自己的风貌气质经常从某一刻起便焕然一新，且大都发生在冬季。向前数三次，24年年初经历痛彻心扉的刺痛后我由 I 转 E，21年1月泪眼婆娑之后我陷入感情的迷离与纠结，17年经历那场堪称羞辱的家长会后我立下了把成绩搞好的决心。这三次人生剧变的背后，都是一种命运的重压使然。
Browsing through past photo albums, I noticed that my demeanor and temperament often seemed to reinvent themselves from a single moment onward, and almost always in the dead of winter. Counting backward three times: at the start of 2024, after enduring an agonizing sting, I shifted from Introvert to Extrovert; in January 2021, through tear-filled eyes, I plunged into emotional disorientation and entanglement; and in 2017, after that parent-teacher conference that felt like an outright humiliation, I resolved once and for all to bring my academic grades up. Behind each of these three seismic shifts in my life lay the heavy hand of fate pressing down upon me.
和三个伙伴的合照始终放在我的内袋里，但说实话，我已经不再奢望元旦的聚会——就让青春的舞蹈在我的记忆里摇摆吧，摇摆吧。
The photo of the three friends and me remains tucked safely in my inner breast pocket, but to be completely honest, I no longer harbor hopes for a New Year’s reunion—just let youth’s dance sway on in my memory, sway on and on.