搏斗集 2023 Struggle on the Cliff’s Edge 2023 第 08 篇 Section 08
八月 回家的些许悲伤 August: The Lingering Melancholy of Returning Home
返回 搏斗集 2023 Back to Struggle on the Cliff’s Edge 2023无数个平凡日子堆叠成一段厚重的人生，特殊的闪光点在时空标尺密密麻麻的坐标侵蚀下也变得模糊且同质。有些日子因其特殊的含义而在生命中刻下不可磨灭的坐标，当回顾自己所行经的岁月，格外清晰的回忆让我产生确确实实活过的踏实感。
Countless mundane days stack into the weight of a human life; special glittering milestones blur into homogeneity under the corrosive friction of dense coordinates on the spacetime ruler. Yet certain days carve indelible landmarks into one’s life due to their unique significance; looking back upon the years traversed, excruciatingly vivid recollections grant me the grounding certainty that I have truly, authentically lived.
好难理解在网络时代从小生活的表弟们，他们的思维方式、信息来源比七八年前的我大大不同了，生活方式也令我感到极为陌生…如今来看，15、16年时那个没有听闻过多少手机游戏、没有上过补习班、没有多少内卷压力的小学生，像是个前信息时代最后的遗民。
It is exceedingly difficult to understand my younger cousins who grew up immersed in the mobile internet era from infancy; their thought patterns and information diets diverge radically from mine seven or eight years ago, and their lifestyle strikes me as utterly alien… Looking back now, the elementary schooler of 2015 and 2016—who had scarcely heard of mobile games, never attended after-school cram mills, and felt little pressure from intense rat-races—resembles the very last surviving remnant of the pre-information epoch.
我们的生活还是变动太快太大了，三年一大变、一年一小变。在生活的重压下，我已经习惯于撕扯下一部分灵魂，命之曰“错误”，并践踏之以为“正确道路”之引。然而再过几十年，当爱豆、当职业运动员、当书店老板……真的都会是错误的道路吗？
Our lives shift far too swiftly and drastically: a major upheaval every three years, a minor seismic tremor every year. Under the crushing gravity of survival, I have grown accustomed to tearing off a fragment of my soul, labeling it an “error,” and trampling upon it as the signpost guiding the “correct path.” Yet decades from now, will becoming an idol, a professional athlete, or a bookstore proprietor really prove to be erroneous paths?
一直认为教育这个宏大的命题根植于视野与阅历，前不久和兄弟深夜讨论“要不要生小孩”这个问题，我现在觉得生孩子绝非单纯的经济问题，而是一项极其宏观的、对时代与个人前瞻要求极高的投资。
I have long maintained that the grand proposition of education is rooted in breadth of vision and depth of lived experience. Not long ago, late at night, I debated the question “whether or not to have children” with a close friend. Today, I believe having a child is by no means a simplistic financial calculation, but a profoundly macroscopic investment demanding extraordinary foresight regarding both individual destiny and historical currents.
似乎信息时代的海浪翻滚带给我们的不只有信息之风的吹拂，还有对原有价值观之岸的冲击，我在反思过早接触互联网对他们到底是有利还是有害。
It seems the churning waves of the information age bring us not merely the gust of data, but a violent assault upon the shores of our original value systems. I find myself pondering whether premature exposure to the internet is ultimately a boon or a bane for them.
于我而言，我的灵魂越发向生活奴颜婢膝，而短暂接触先前的灵魂，甚至会使现在的我感到痛苦。这是我人生前20年留下的魂器，我不想主动去寻找、更不要销毁，只是在我精神世界行将崩溃时，我会来到山洞，短暂解除童年的法阵，抚摸属于我的斯莱特林的挂坠，然后无声地离去。
As for me, my soul kowtows with increasing subservience before the dictates of life; even brief communion with my former soul inflicts acute anguish upon the person I am today. These are the Horcruxes left behind from the first twenty years of my existence. I do not wish to seek them out proactively, much less destroy them. Only when my spiritual sanctuary verges on collapse will I venture into the cave, briefly dismantle the childhood wards, caress my own Slytherin locket, and depart in utter silence.
jk罗琳的意思应该是杀死一个个未来的自己，炼造魂器……
What J.K. Rowling truly meant, perhaps, was that fashioning Horcruxes requires slaying successive versions of one’s future self…
也许唯一的回答只有同声相应，愿我们都会遇到越来越优秀的人，成为越来越优秀的自己。
Perhaps the solitary answer lies in resonant voices answering one another: may we all encounter increasingly remarkable souls, and grow into increasingly remarkable versions of ourselves.