碎金集 2021 Fortuitous Gold Nuggets 2021 第 11 篇 Section 11
十一月 读书与交友 November: On Reading and Making Friends
返回 碎金集 2021 Back to Fortuitous Gold Nuggets 2021看到一句感同身受的句子，记在这里：“我们时常感到孤独，却又害怕被亲密关系所束缚。数字化的社交关系恰恰为我们制造了一种幻觉：我们有人陪伴，却无须付出友谊。”现代人对爱的渴望越来越多，但对于爱的投入看得越来越宝贵了，是好是坏呢？
I came across a sentence that resonated deeply with me and record it here: “We often feel lonely, yet fear being bound by intimacy. Digital social ties precisely fabricate an illusion for us: that we have companionship, without having to pay the price of friendship.” Modern humans harbor an ever-greater longing for love, yet regard their emotional investment as ever more precious—is this for better or for worse?
花时间去讨厌自己讨厌的人，你就少了时间去爱自己喜欢的人。花时间去计较让你不爽的事情，你就少了时间去体验让你爽的事情。恨，烦，焦虑，难过都是别人带来的，可时间是你的。所以节约自己的时间比一切都重要。
If you spend time despising those you dislike, you will have less time to cherish those you love. If you spend time brooding over things that upset you, you will have less time to experience what brings you delight. Hatred, annoyance, anxiety, and sorrow are all inflicted by others, but time belongs to you. Hence, treasuring your own time matters more than all else.
关于朋友我一直有一种思考，交朋友就比如像在书店里买书。（按照钱钟书的说法，每个人的人生都是一本大书，还挺搭）
Regarding friends, I have long held a contemplation: making friends is very much like buying books in a bookstore. (Fitting neatly with Qian Zhongshu’s notion that every person’s life is a hefty tome.)
以前小时候挑书的时候我们都会将书打开看个几页，有时看到感兴趣的就会多看两眼，最后选择一两本买下来，这是再正常不过的方式。
When we picked books in childhood, we would open the volume and browse a few pages; occasionally, upon finding something interesting, we would linger over it a bit longer, before finally picking one or two to purchase. This was the most natural process imaginable.
现在感觉很多书不知怎么纷纷包上了塑料膜，于是纷纷用外表奢华的标语吸引眼球。我们在书店里徘徊，挑着每本书或奢华或朴实的封面，在脑海里想象书里的内容。
Nowadays, so many books seem somehow shrink-wrapped in plastic film, relying on opulent, flashy slogans to grab the eye. We wander through the bookstore, selecting among covers either extravagant or plain, picturing the contents in our imagination.
有的男生对象征着异性的书更是可气，鬼鬼祟祟把那烫金的封面摩挲不停，最后却又长叹一声：“可惜书没法看。”别人问他这本书哪里好，他支支吾吾说了一句：“封面挺好看的…”
Certain boys, when handling books that symbolize the opposite sex, are especially vexing: stealthily stroking the gold-embossed covers non-stop, only to heave a long sigh in the end: “Pity one can’t read inside.” When others ask what is good about the book, he mumbles sheepishly: “Well, the cover looks nice…”
细究原因，无非是现在每本书的定价普遍贵，人们的钱又没有增加，于是买下一本书，甚至认真读一本书似乎都成为了一种奢求。于是，人们习惯于把每本书放在不同的“盒子”里分门别类，从体裁分类到作者年月一一分类，试图从这种快餐式搜索中取得对畅销书趋之若鹜的快感。
Investigating the root cause, it is simply that books today are generally expensive, while people’s wallets have not grown; thus purchasing a book—or even reading one with genuine care—seems to have become a luxury. Consequently, people grow accustomed to slotting each book into neat “boxes,” classifying from genre to author and chronology, attempting through this fast-food search to capture the thrill of chasing bestsellers.
私以为，互联网时代兴趣的细碎渐渐让我们变得“孤独”，我们越来越难在现实生活找到一个完全的同好，但又同时越来越渴求在例如在畅销书上找到一种久违的归属感。这种对畅销书病态的追捧，与其说是真的对这本书的文字感兴趣，毋宁说是享受自己这种追捧的过程。真可谓是《时代的精神状况》！
In my humble view, the fragmentation of interests in the internet era has gradually made us “lonely.” It is increasingly difficult to discover a complete kindred spirit in real life, yet simultaneously we crave finding a long-lost sense of belonging in items such as bestsellers. This morbid adulation of bestsellers is less a genuine fascination with the printed text than an enjoyment of the act of adoration itself. What a vivid mirror of The Spiritual Situation of the Age!