碎金集 2021 Fortuitous Gold Nuggets 2021 第 12 篇 Section 12
十二月 跨年的祝祷 December: The New Year's Eve Prayer
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上篇 考试成绩盘点 Part One: Inventory of Examination Results
冬月十五，考后的十五月亮真美啊。结束了本年度第十次考试（也是最后一次），来总结一下今年的考试情况吧，以飨2022……
The fifteenth of the eleventh lunar month; how breathtaking is the full moon following the exam. Having concluded the tenth (and final) examination of this year, let me summarize the year’s exam performance, as an offering to 2022…
这几次考试情况如下：1月期末班6，（2月期初班16），3月月考班12，5月期中班21，6月月考班10，6月期末班31，（8月期初班26），10月月考班18，11月期中班7
The results of these exams were as follows: January Final 6th in class, (February Start-of-Term Exam 16th in class), March Monthly 12th in class, May Midterm 21st in class, June Monthly 10th in class, June Final 31st in class, (August Start-of-Term Exam 26th in class), October Monthly 18th in class, November Midterm 7th in class.
今年的前九次考试的结果与心态具有基本正比的关系：除去上学期期末的史上最差成绩，其余15名开外的成绩无一例外是小长假后或寒暑假后的考试。回忆考砸的这几次，考前总是手机不离身，上学期期中考前为了把 POI 刷完，考前一天凌晨三点才睡……这体现出我根本没有拿出考试应有的重视与态度，同样在日常学习上常常用一种得过且过的态度应付，这是2022年的我同样值得注意的。
The outcomes of this year’s first nine exams correlated almost directly with my state of mind: setting aside last semester’s final—the worst ranking of my high school career—every rank outside the top 15 occurred without exception right after a holiday or vacation. Recalling those botched tests, my smartphone was glued to my hand beforehand; before last semester’s midterm, in order to finish binge-watching Person of Interest (POI), I stayed up until three in the morning the night before the exam… This exposed my total lack of due gravity and reverence toward examinations, alongside a muddle-through attitude in daily study that the 2022 version of myself must strictly heed.
今年六月底，本以为携月考不错的势头可以大有作为，却最终收获了一个高中唯二烂的成绩（另一个是因为高一上期末谈恋爱），这种冲击的威力完全不亚于当时分手。加上期中考因为发烧而考砸导致一学期两次大考通通考砸，我从此陷入了长达3个月的“长夜”。
At the end of June this year, having gathered strong momentum from a decent monthly exam, I fancied I could achieve great things, only to reap one of the two worst marks in my entire high school life (the other being the Grade 10 first semester final due to high school romance); the magnitude of that shock was by no means inferior to the heartbreak of breaking up back then. Compounded by blowing the midterm due to a fever, which meant botching both major exams of the semester, I plunged thereafter into a “long night” that lasted for three full months.
而本次期中考到这次四校联考，感觉自己在高三的考试态度已经大有改善，都做出了全力以赴的姿态，但有时仍有力不从心之感。现在想来当时自己还是对各个学科掌握还是太不扎实，看似好像都会，实则上考场很容易露出马脚。正如围棋的胜率一般，胜率高本身没用，降低不确定性，即进入知识的深水区，化知识为分数才最为关键。
Yet from this midterm to the Four-School Joint Examination, I feel my examination attitude in senior year has vastly improved, displaying a posture of total commitment, though at times a sense of inadequacy still surfaces. Looking back now, my mastery of each discipline was simply not solid enough: appearing to know everything, but easily exposed on the test sheet. Just like win-rates in Go: a high nominal win-rate is useless in itself; what matters fundamentally is reducing uncertainty—entering the deep-water zone of knowledge and transmuting knowledge into scores.
四校联考考完，一轮复习结束，欠缺了什么？又收获了什么？长夜以后，便是黎明！本学期学习状态感觉比上学期好些，如今希望可以不扰于心，为自己而考，为前路奋斗。
With the Four-School Joint Examination concluded and the first round of review finished, what was lacking? And what has been gained? After the long night comes the dawn! My academic momentum this semester feels stronger than the last; now I only hope to remain untroubled in heart, testing for myself and striving for the road ahead.
2022，加油吧。
2022, let’s forge ahead.
下篇 归零 Part Two: Reset to Zero
从此刻起，我就要走出你了，2021。夜的路口，是雪一般的告别，这是我在中学的第五年。
From this moment forth, I step out from you, 2021. At the intersection of the night lies a snow-like farewell; this marks my fifth year in secondary school.
或曾迷航，曾遗憾；或曾开怀，曾发光；都将与今夜的万水千山，一起封藏。
Perhaps once lost, once full of regrets; perhaps once rejoicing, once shining bright; all shall be sealed away together with tonight’s myriad hills and streams.
今年打70分吧。离100分的满分距离，是人生永无完美的恰好的努力。遗憾很多，骤雨狂风，但星辰大地上更敞亮的是在剧烈的爱恨中，感恩一切斩钉截铁的偶遇。
Let me give this year seventy points out of a hundred. The distance to a full hundred is life’s eternal, imperfect, yet just-right exertion. Regrets abound, amidst torrential downpours and raging winds; yet what shines brighter upon the starry earth is, amidst intense loves and hatreds, profound gratitude for every unshakeable, serendipitous encounter.
2021，我们已经决斗过了。最艰难的时光，最凶猛的欢喜。也许，所有不完美的时刻才是对的，人生中最大的遗憾不是错，而是错过。
2021, we have already fought our duel. The most grueling hours, the fiercest joys. Perhaps all imperfect moments are precisely right; the greatest regret in life is not having made a mistake, but having missed out.
谢谢今年遇到的每一个人，他们给了我一整个春天的重量。
Thank you to every person I met this year; they bestowed upon me the entire weight of a spring.
归零。
Reset to zero.
然后重新倒数……
And then count down anew…