苇草集 2022 Reeds in the Wind 2022 第 02 篇 Section 02
一月 使其降生的使命 January: The Mission of Bringing Forth Life
返回 苇草集 2022 Back to Reeds in the Wind 20222022年第一次长辈饭局，和我父亲的妹妹的丈夫的哥哥，简称大伯聊天。
At my first dinner with elders in 2022, I talked with my father’s younger sister’s husband’s elder brother, whom I simply call Uncle.
难以避免聊到学习。大伯的女儿今年高二，期末考四百多分，期中考三百多分。于是他问我：“学霸，教教我女儿有没有什么学习的捷径？你平时都看什么书？”
Inevitably, the conversation turned to schoolwork. Uncle’s daughter is in her second year of senior high school this year; she scored in the 400s on her final exam and in the 300s on her midterm. So he asked me: “You’re a top student—can you teach my daughter any shortcuts to studying? What books do you usually read?”
我仔细想想，好像也没什么捷径，好像也和大家看基本一样的辅导书。
I thought it over carefully: there didn’t seem to be any shortcuts, and I seemed to read basically the same supplementary books as everyone else.
他又吐槽道：“我女儿之前在谈恋爱，我跟她讲千万不要谈，谈了以后考不到一个大学怎么办？还是到一个大学再去谈。现在果然成绩稍微好一点。”言语间颇有自得之意。
He went on venting: “My daughter was dating someone before, and I told her under no circumstances should she date. If they date now and end up at different universities later, what then? Wait until you get into the same university before dating. Sure enough, her grades have improved slightly now.” He sounded rather pleased with himself.
我默然无语。
I remained silent, saying nothing.
回到家细想，越想越不是滋味。
Back home, the more I turned it over in my mind, the more uncomfortable it felt.
高中学习，与师资同学、日常作息、天赋、努力等等等等都息息相关，岂是几本书可以扭转乾坤的？他到底知不知道高中学习的重点与难点？
High school academics are intimately tied to teaching quality, classmates, daily routines, innate talent, hard work, and so much more—how could a few books single-handedly turn the tide? Does he even have the slightest clue what the true priorities and bottlenecks of high school learning are?
另外关于恋爱问题。高三了，还是没搞懂为什么家长都认为高中不能谈恋爱。注意，是一刀切的“恋爱即魔鬼”。我个人并不觉得恋爱一定是青春路上的洪水猛兽，如果是，那也是赫拉克勒斯的十二任务，是一个人发展的必经之路。
And then there is the question of romance. Even as a high school senior, I still fail to understand why parents universally believe that high schoolers must not date. Mind you, it is an indiscriminate, blanket equation of “romance equals the devil.” Personally, I do not believe romance is inevitably a terrifying beast along youth’s road; even if it were, it would be akin to the Twelve Labors of Heracles—an indispensable rite of passage in human development.
再者，如果说高中恋爱会因毕业而受影响，那么大学恋爱甚至于都很可能不是一个城市的！现在大学也很卷，到时候毕业又要催着子女谈对象了。以这些拙劣的理由搪塞，我想，只会使子女的逆反心理愈演愈烈。我理解家长为孩子好的初心自然不错，但如此狭隘的见解实在是太可怕了！
Furthermore, if high school romance might be strained by graduation, university couples may well not even be in the same city! University life is hyper-competitive nowadays as well, and upon graduation parents will only turn around and urge their children to find partners. Stalling with such clumsy rationales, I believe, will only cause a child’s rebellious instincts to flare up all the more intensely. I certainly understand that parents’ underlying intention is for their children’s good, but such narrow views is truly terrifying!
整场饭局，我只看到一个常年奔波在外、不懂得真正关心子女学习发展的长辈，只会通过大而化之的“不准谈恋爱”让子女产生抵触心理。既然让小孩来到这个世界，就一定要尽到做父亲的责任。不然，不如不生。
Throughout the dinner, all I saw was an elder who spent the entire year running around outside and had no real understanding of how to care for his child’s academic growth, capable only of breeding resentment through sweeping prohibitions like “no dating allowed.” If you bring a child into this world, you must fulfill your duty as a father. Otherwise, better not to have children at all.
精装版萧红全集到了。不过百余元，物超所值。我似乎看到一代代人循着文学洛神的脚步，在青春的丛林里披荆斩棘…
My hardcover edition of Xiao Hong’s complete works has arrived. Costing barely over a hundred yuan, it is worth far more than its price. I seem to see generations following in the footsteps of literature’s Goddess of the Luo River, hacking their way through the untamed thickets of youth…