三人游 Talk.03 Trio Journey Talk.03 第 02 篇 Section 02
2、社会洞察三则 Three Social Insights
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985 的本科学历根本不够用 A 985 Undergraduate Degree Is Far from Enough
985 的本科学历根本不够用 想去的地方全要研究生 啊啊啊啊啊但是我写不出来科研论文真的非常痛苦 我到底喜欢搞学术吗，不明白。我渴望进入社会抓紧时间提升自己学习如何为人处事，让我的榆木脑袋接受下社会的毒打 想要用工作和社交充满我的生活 但是好吧我第一个门槛就没迈进去 山大哪怕是个 c9 好像都没用……
A 985 undergraduate degree is simply not enough anymore. Every place I want to go requires a graduate degree. Aaaargh, but being unable to write research papers causes me real anguish. Do I genuinely love academia? I have no clue. I yearn to step out into society, seize the moment to level up, learn how to navigate the human world, and let my stubborn blockhead take a beating from real life. I want to fill my calendar with work and bustling socializing—yet here I am, stumbling right at the starting gate. Even if Shandong University were a C9 university, it would seem useless…
大学怎么比赛都是先校赛……晋级比例还一个比一个低。比如我词汇竞赛校赛分比南师大分数线高，但是在山大就是 12%，没到 10%……c9 的 10%、985 的 10%、211 的 10%，这含金量完全不同吧……怎么会有这样的规则😭总算是知道为什么要强调第一学历了🥲
Why must every college competition start with preliminary campus rounds… where advancement quotas get progressively stingier? For instance, my score in the English vocabulary contest surpassed the cutoff at Nanjing Normal University, yet at SDU it placed me in the top 12%—just missing the top 10% cutoff. The top 10% of a C9, the top 10% of a 985, and the top 10% of a 211 carry entirely different weight… How can such rules even exist? 😭 Now I finally understand why the prestige of one’s initial undergraduate institution is so obsessively scrutinized. 🥲
感觉学习真的挺重要的，决定我被什么 level 的东西影响。现在接触的世界比以前大很多，越来越感到自己无知，这也算最近忙忙碌碌的一点感想。总结一下，愚蠢、傲慢、自私是一切感情的阻碍，真诚、无私、智慧则是加分项。
Academics and learning truly matter; they dictate what caliber of influences shape your mind. The world I inhabit now is vastly wider than before, leaving me feeling increasingly ignorant—a realization drawn from the recent blur of busyness. To sum it up: stupidity, arrogance, and selfishness are obstacles to all relationships; sincerity, selflessness, and wisdom are advantages.
十年前，我会因为一张三好学生奖状难过半年——唐老师是我六年级之前最无感的老师之一，就因为她没给我评三好学生。现在看，都是个屁。但并非所有过去都能这样轻描淡写：16年的分别、19年的失恋、21年的全面低谷，是无法随着世界观的扩大而消解的。不过换个角度看，我22年高考不算太差，谈了一段不算太差的恋爱，关键是成长了很多很多——还有什么好遗憾的呢？
A decade ago, missing out on a “Merit Student” certificate would plunge me into gloom for six months—Teacher Tang was one of the instructors I felt most alienated from before sixth grade, solely because she refused to award me that certificate. Looking back now, it’s completely trivial. Yet not everything from the past can be brushed off so lightly: the farewells of 2016, the heartbreak of 2019, and the crushing rock bottom of 2021 cannot be dissolved merely through an expanding worldview. Still, viewed from another angle, my 2022 Gaokao result was decent, I lived through a romance that wasn’t half bad, and above all, I matured tremendously—what room is left for regrets?
家境是我的底牌 Family Background Is the Real Trump Card
每次和ZH聊完天感触都很多。很多苏州的老同学，家境能提供一个保底选项：考不好就出国，SGH就是这样。ZH说，他以前觉得出国的人都是学习不好才出国，上了大学才发现这是家境问题——毕竟大学里很多很多优秀的人也会选择出国，而他基本没有这个选项。我真的好赞同。
Every conversation with ZH leaves me deep in thought. For many old classmates in Suzhou, family wealth provides a guaranteed safety net: if domestic exams go awry, they simply head abroad—SGH was a prime example. ZH remarked that he used to assume people studying abroad did so because they couldn’t cut it academically; only after entering university did he realize it was purely a question of family capital—after all, countless stellar students in college also choose to go overseas, whereas for him, that door was essentially closed from the start. I couldn’t agree more.
园区校2班有四分之一的人出国，很多人当初正是看中园区校的出国优势才选择了它。只能说社会很现实：以前我引以为傲的成绩，在那些出国的同学面前根本不值一提。我也感觉我一无所有。
A quarter of the students in SIP Campus Class 2 headed abroad; many had picked that high school specifically for its international pipeline advantages. Society is brutally pragmatic: the test scores I once wore with immense pride look utterly negligible beside classmates who ventured overseas. At moments, I feel as though I possess nothing at all.
深夜想到家人：可能再过几年，爷爷奶奶这一辈就要一个个走了；再过十几年，我爸就要退居教师二线（就像 MKB 老师高一教我们时那样），二线再待三年就退休了。
Late at night, thoughts wander to family: in a few short years, the generation of my grandparents will pass away one by one; in another dozen years, my father will step back from front-line teaching (just like Teacher MKB when he taught us in tenth grade), stay in that transitional post for three years, and retire.
想起我姐。她比我大两岁，但上学早，比我大三届。刚进苏高中时，我16岁、她18岁生日，我问她18岁的感受是什么、高考结束上大学的感受是什么。她说，18岁远远算不上成熟；反而是20岁的她，时值大三、处在人生的转型期，更能体会成年人的生活。相比之下，单看高考的成绩，其实带来的成长很有限。
I think of my older sister. She is two years older than me, but started school early, putting her three grades ahead. When I entered Suzhou High School, I was sixteen and it was her eighteenth birthday. I asked her what turning eighteen felt like, and what it was like to wrap up the Gaokao and step into college. She told me that eighteen is nowhere near maturity; rather, at twenty, during her junior year amidst life’s pivotal crossroads, she began to truly comprehend the weight of adulthood. By comparison, looking strictly at Gaokao scores, the personal growth they foster is remarkably modest.
回看山大学伴事件 Revisiting the SDU “Study Buddy” Controversy
如今回看，山大 学伴事件 的舆情颇为莫名其妙——至少在我的价值观里，这件事本身并无问题。第一，项目采取 报名制 ，自愿自主；第二，并不存在中国学生遭留学生骚扰后举报学校的情节，风波源头更像是有人发帖恶意诋毁学校。对比之下，赴英留学尚有 寄宿家庭（homestay） 制度，中国学生直接一对一住进英国人家中，也不见英国人抗议。
Looking back today, the public furore surrounding the Shandong University “Study Buddy” incident was utterly bizarre—at least within my ethical framework, I see no problem with the program itself. First, participation operated entirely on a voluntary sign-up basis; second, there was no episode in which a Chinese student reported the university after being harassed by an international student; the controversy seems instead to have begun with someone posting a malicious attack on the university. By comparison, Chinese students studying in the UK routinely reside in local homestays, living one-on-one with British families, without British people protesting.
部分国人一见”中国女性、外国男性”的组合，爱国情绪便比九一八当天还高涨——此前 乌克兰电竞选手与大连理工女生 的风波，遵循的正是同一逻辑。何况当事各方均为成年人，即便真有亲密关系，你情我愿即可；学伴项目撑死不过是一起看电影、买杯奶茶，竟也能招致辱骂。照这套逻辑，我还曾在外国女留学生公寓单独留宿，岂不该被判绞刑。
The moment certain netizens witness an alliance of “Chinese woman, foreign man,” nationalistic vitriol surges higher than on the anniversary of the Mukden Incident—the viral uproar over the Ukrainian esports athlete and a Dalian University of Technology student marched to this identical chauvinistic drumbeat. These were consenting adults; even if intimate relationships blossomed, mutual consent should suffice. The study buddy program amounted to little more than catching a movie together or grabbing bubble tea, yet drew relentless bile. By that twisted metric, having once stayed overnight in an international female student’s apartment, I suppose I ought to be sentenced to the gallows.
更深一层看，这种愤怒的实质，是潜意识里把女性当作”自己人”的 私有财产 ：表面上讲人人平等，实际上用” 国格 “话语包装性别占有欲。假如性别对调——三名中国男生配一名外国女生——他们还会觉得有损国格吗？”睡洋妞”反倒被称作”扬国威”，双重标准一目了然。这种情绪并不遥远：身边不少男性朋友一见此类新闻便情绪拉满，甚至声称像我这样的”中立派”，”打过来”时会第一个被清算。
Probing deeper, this outrage stems from subconsciously treating women as the private property of the in-group: posturing equality while wrapping base sexual possessiveness in the rhetoric of “national dignity.” Invert the genders—assign three Chinese male students to one foreign female student—would they still wail about diminished national pride? Bedding foreign women is instead lauded as “projecting national glory,” an unvarnished double standard. Such sentiments are hardly distant: numerous male acquaintances become utterly inflamed upon encountering such headlines, going so far as to declare that “moderates” like myself would be the first to face liquidation “when war breaks out.”
我可能有时候也会比较舔狗 比如感觉女生愿意找我约拍是一种信任，我已经很感激了！
I suppose I can be something of a simp at times—for instance, when a girl agrees to let me photograph her, I view it as an immense vote of confidence and feel deeply grateful!
摄影这东西 金钱、审美、体力、技术、情商都缺一不可，对我而言还是太难了。
Photography demands money, artistic aesthetic, physical stamina, technical prowess, and emotional intelligence—none of which can be spared. For me, it remains extraordinarily challenging.
以后还是找个会拍照的恋爱对象好，可以互相拍。主要是我没想过用拍照赚钱，纯审美爱好，我拍人像的话大概率只想拍我女朋友。
In the future, I’d rather find a girlfriend who knows her way around a camera so we can photograph each other. Ultimately, I’ve never intended to monetize photography; it’s a purely aesthetic pursuit. When it comes to portraiture, the only muse I truly care to capture is my partner.