巨流集 2025 The Boundless Great Torrent 2025 第 05 篇 Section 05
四月 那些单纯的情感 April: Those Pure Feelings
返回 巨流集 2025 Back to The Boundless Great Torrent 2025过去中学的住宿生活没有手机，许多大事总是以一种如真似幻的姿态从老师办公室里传出，想回到没有谈过恋爱的年纪，那时候的情感单纯地溢出，长久地留念：
Back during secondary boarding school, we had no mobile phones. Major historical events always drifted out from the teachers’ offices wrapped in a dreamlike, half-real haze. How I long to return to the age before I had ever dated—when emotions spilled over with unblemished innocence, leaving long-lasting ripples:
16年底秋游时特朗普当选，那时候从没想过全球化的趋势居然有可能在未来十年渐渐逆转；17年底余光中溘然长逝的消息在语文课前传来，似乎那个乡愁的时代慢慢终结，语言再难弥合海峡的深堑；18年初霍金去世，年底金庸去世，写我初中时代读的书的人在逐渐消逝，很清晰地给了我一记成长的重锤：该长大了！
Late in 2016, during an autumn field trip, Donald Trump was elected president. Back then, it never crossed my mind that the wave of globalization could begin reversing over the next decade. In late 2017, news of Yu Kwang-chung’s passing arrived right before Chinese class, signaling that the era of nostalgic “homesickness” was coming to a close, and that language could no longer bridge the deep chasm across the Taiwan Strait. In early 2018, Stephen Hawking passed away, and late that year, Louis Cha (Jin Yong) died. The authors who wrote the books of my junior high days were vanishing one by one, striking me with a resounding hammer blow of maturity: it was time to grow up!
19年初巴黎圣母院被烧，我难以想象这真的会发生，伴随着当时的国内民族主义情绪上扬、法国黄马甲示威，我当时深深感慨西方文明正在式微；19年末雪莉去世，我当时以为这会是己亥年最难过的一个消息，现在看雪莉也逃过了后面的庚子大疫，祝她在天堂幸福快乐，我会永远记得你。
In early 2019, Notre-Dame de Paris caught fire; I could hardly believe such a calamity was actually unfolding. Compounded by surging domestic nationalism at the time and the Yellow Vests protests in France, I felt deeply that Western civilization was in decline. At the end of 2019, Sulli passed away; I thought that would be the most heartbreaking news of the Jihai year. Looking back now, Sulli at least escaped the Great Pestilence of the Gengzi year that followed. May she find peace and happiness in heaven; I will remember you always.
一直觉得生活的意义是要向世界传递善意，可是如今我通过互联网只是把自己的精致内心构建得越来越结实。我的深层问题是缺乏群体归属感，缺乏内在价值和外部成就的有机统一。
I had always believed the meaning of life was to channel kindness into the world, yet nowadays, through the internet, I have merely fortified my own refined interiority into an ever-thicker shell. My underlying dilemma is a lack of collective belonging, an absence of organic harmony between internal worth and external achievement.
上海之行最深刻的记忆就是安福路上，那个发放纸片的女生，在长久的生活中，我们似乎已经只会把愤怒化作怨怼，而不是行动，这个女生让我知道即使阻力重重，有志者便会用行动和事实说话。
The most searing memory from my trip to Shanghai was on Anfu Road: a girl handing out slips of paper. In our prolonged routines, we seem to have learned only how to convert anger into rancor rather than action; that girl reminded me that even against immense resistance, those with conviction will speak through deeds and facts.
俞俐君说她喜欢“知道自己在干嘛”的人，对生活的掌控力是一项不可多得的能力。只有提升我个人各方面的“实力”才不会仰人鼻息，大学的最后一年半要学会如何与社会更好地接轨了。
Yu Li-chun once remarked that she admires people who “know what they are doing”; a firm grip on one’s own life is an extraordinarily rare competence. Only by elevating my overall capabilities across every front can I stop living under the thumb of others. In this final year and a half of university, I must learn how to connect better with society.
也许我无法成为一年四季持续缓缓流淌的溪流，也许我是周期性的潮汐。我需要许许多多个支点，我需要许许多多的爱……
Perhaps I am not cut out to be a gentle brook flowing placidly through all four seasons; perhaps I am a periodic tide. I need many, many fulcrums; I need much, much love…