苇草集 2022 Reeds in the Wind 2022 第 10 篇 Section 10
十月 隔离日记 October: Quarantine Diary
返回 苇草集 2022 Back to Reeds in the Wind 2022DAY1 读完《台北人》
DAY 1: Finished Taipei People
隔离的日子真是太适合读书了！！
Days in quarantine are truly made for reading!!
“台北的冬夜愈来愈深了，窗外的冷雨，却仍旧绵绵不绝地下着。”可以说白先勇在短篇小说上真是有才气。
“The winter night in Taipei grew ever deeper, yet the cold rain outside the window continued to fall without cease.” One can truly say that Pai Hsien-yung possesses immense literary brilliance in the realm of short fiction.
三毛受他影响很大看来是真的。
It seems to be quite true that Sanmao was profoundly influenced by him.
Day2 读完巴金《寒夜》
DAY 2: Finished Ba Jin’s Cold Nights
每每读巴金笔下彷徨失措的青年时，心中便油然而生“不恨古人吾不见，恨古人不见吾狂者”的悲凉心境，实在是太像了。从家春秋，雾雨电，随想录，到如今大一读寒夜，巴金的文字中总是透露着知识分子的哀伤与迷茫，而我的感触也从迷茫到感同身受乃至于到现在释怀。以奥伊肯的观点来看，所谓“五四运动”成功与否并无关系，所谓人生失利与否亦无关系，不把个人的命运埋藏于集体的刻奇中，以自己的媒介从心所欲地去生活才是人生的意义与价值。
Whenever I read of the bewildered, adrift youths under Ba Jin’s pen, there spontaneously arises within my chest that desolate sentiment: “I lament not that I never saw the ancients, but that the ancients never saw my wild abandon”—it is all too similar. From The Turbulent Stream trilogy (Family, Spring, Autumn) and the Love trilogy (Fog, Rain, Lightning) to Random Thoughts and now reading Cold Nights as a college freshman, Ba Jin’s prose invariably breathes the sorrow and perplexity of intellectuals, while my own resonance has journeyed from confusion to shared suffering, and now to a sense of reconciliation. Seen from Rudolf Eucken’s perspective, whether the May Fourth Movement “succeeded” or not is immaterial, just as whether one suffers setbacks in life or not is beside the point: not burying one’s personal destiny beneath collective kitsch, and living according to one’s heart’s desire through one’s own medium—this alone constitutes the true meaning and value of life.
追寻意义的五四一代其实从未远去，笼罩在每位青年人头顶的寒夜，始终需要凭借先贤的智慧与理智的自由意志以驱散。中国现代文学的火炬是不会熄灭的。
The May Fourth generation, who sought after meaning, has never truly departed; the cold nights looming over the heads of every young person still demand the wisdom of the sages and the rational exercise of free will to disperse. The torch of modern Chinese literature will never be extinguished.
DAY3 读完《上海交通大学生存手册》
DAY 3: Finished Shanghai Jiao Tong University Survival Manual
人在眼界小的时候会对周遭产生严重的误判，这是人与生俱来不可跳出的局限。
When a person’s horizons are narrow, they will develop severe misjudgments about their surroundings—an innate limitation from which humans cannot escape.
“某个环境的条件如何如何之好并不是你去到某个环境中的理由，你能从这个环境中获得什么样的成就，才是你前往某个环境的原因。”
“How wonderful the conditions of a particular environment may be is not the reason for you to go there; what kind of achievements you can attain from that environment is the true reason for you to enter it.”
共勉。
Words for mutual encouragement.
DAY4 读完《都柏林人》
DAY 4: Finished Dubliners
在一个繁华的都市用意识流的方式书写青年空虚的内心，原来是乔伊斯的首创。当时读的时候马上让我想到了郁达夫：同样那么忧郁，但又比郁达夫克制冷峻些——这当然与两人的人生经历有关。
Writing of the hollow interior of youths in a bustling metropolis through the stream of consciousness was, as it turns out, James Joyce’s innovation. Reading it immediately brought Yu Dafu to mind: just as melancholic, yet somewhat more restrained and austere than Yu—a distinction naturally rooted in their respective life journeys.
DAY5 今天聊嗨了
DAY 5: Had a Lively Chat Today
今天和室友聊了聊审美以及理想型，然而今天聊下来总感觉怪怪的。好像现在我不太喜欢谈论审美了，审美太主观太尖锐，活跃气氛可以，很难达到谈论人生观的地步。
Today I talked with my roommates about aesthetics and ideal types, yet after chatting it left behind an oddly peculiar feeling. It seems I no longer enjoy discussing aesthetics much anymore; aesthetics is too subjective, too sharp. It serves well to enliven an atmosphere, but rarely reaches the depth of discussing one’s worldview.
而至于所谓理想型，我以前往往以初高中两位女神或其某些特征以加以概括，但现在我觉得理想型本身并没有对成功恋爱有任何帮助——还是要去爱真实的人，而不是从某些特征按图索骥寻找虚拟的“女神”。
As for the so-called ideal type, I used to summarize it through my middle and high school goddesses or specific traits of theirs, but now I feel that having an “ideal type” does not aid successful romance in the least—one must still learn to love real, breathing people, rather than hunting down a virtual “goddess” by following a checklist of predetermined traits.
DAY6（最后一天！）读完《荒原狼》
DAY 6 (Final Day!): Finished Steppenwolf
“人生已经毫无意义”，一本酣畅淋漓的第一人称表现主义著作，又是一本探讨灵与肉问题的寓言，是我非常喜欢的著作类型。读的时候常常联想到加缪《快乐的死》里梅尔索的孤独，萨特《死无葬身之地》里对社会与世界的怀疑。其中信仰的崩塌、个人的痛苦、与社会的隔膜是那一代欧洲人的共同记忆，也对我今日的生活有重大的启示意义。
“Life has already lost all meaning”—an exhilarating first-person expressionist work, and an allegory probing the dichotomy between flesh and spirit; it is precisely a kind of literary work I like very much. While reading, I was repeatedly reminded of Meursault’s solitude in Albert Camus’s A Happy Death, and the profound suspicion toward society and the world in Jean-Paul Sartre’s Men Without Shadows (The Dead Without Burial). The collapse of faith, the anguish of the individual, and the estrangement from society were the collective memories of that generation of Europeans, offering important insights for my life today.