搏斗集 2023 Struggle on the Cliff’s Edge 2023 第 03 篇 Section 03
二月 投入人群，成为自己 February: Plunging into the Crowd, Becoming Oneself
返回 搏斗集 2023 Back to Struggle on the Cliff’s Edge 2023现在总觉得冥冥之中有一种定数，一切应该到来的其实在我的生命中早就埋下了伏笔。
Nowadays, I always sense a mysterious destiny at work—everything meant to arrive was already presaged long ago in the foreshadowing of my life.
初中时期的我可以说具备了一切追kpop的条件：时间充足、忠实秀粉、有自由支配的移动设备、还有关系很好的K-pop粉丝同学，但因为对归国四子和tfboys的刻板印象放弃了解了exo，因网易云大图很普（就是这么离谱的理由）以及听不懂韩语而放弃了iu，因为bts和blackpink闯美成功而误以为kpop是欧美音乐的一大分支而放弃了解男团女团……说实话，作为内地歌坛和欧美歌坛的忠实听众，我对kpop其实只差一次小小的契机，但因为某种傲慢与偏见而错过了三年。（bts《DNA》）
During middle school, I possessed every conceivable condition for stanning K-pop: abundant leisure, an avid survival show viewer, personal mobile devices at my disposal, and close classmates who were devoted K-pop fans. Yet because of crude stereotypes regarding the “Four Who Returned from Korea” and TFBOYS, I gave up exploring EXO; because a NetEase artist banner appeared mundane (an absurd rationale, truly) and because I didn’t understand Korean, I gave up on IU; because BTS and BLACKPINK conquered America, I mistook K-pop for a mere subsidiary branch of Western pop and passed on exploring boy groups and girl groups… To be frank, as a loyal listener of Chinese and Western music, I was only ever a tiny spark away from K-pop, yet due to a certain pride and prejudice, I missed it for three full years. (BTS’s “DNA”)
高中时期的我受到大环境下唱片业和偶像业的衰颓以及小环境下学业的双重压力，甚至逐渐放弃了痴迷三四年（初二到高二）的欧美音乐，加上遇到的同学几乎没有欧美流行的同好，终于在高三时倒退回了初一的听歌状态：只听华语歌手（没说只听华语歌不好，在我这里语境下是指我的听歌面变窄了，我本来华语歌听的面也就不大）。（欧美歌几乎消逝）
In high school, crushed beneath the macro slump of the recording and idol industries and the micro pressure of intense academic competition, I even gradually abandoned the European and American music I had been obsessed with for three or four years (from eighth to eleventh grade). Compounded by the reality that almost none of my peers shared an interest in Western pop, by twelfth grade I had regressed to my seventh-grade listening habits: exclusively Chinese singers (not that listening only to Chinese music is bad; in this context, it simply means my musical horizons had narrowed drastically, and my Sinophone listening repertoire was never that expansive to begin with). (Western pop almost completely vanished)
到了大学，我最后还是在2022的初冬与kpop见面了，它是我生命中终将谋面的一部分。但如果不是因为我初中追选秀、高中追华语音综、对国内外的乐曲类型有足够的了解，也许我现在仍会与kpop失之交臂。看似我入坑kpop是因为当时我一个大学哥们在看ive的mama颁奖典礼，我一眼被安宥真的美貌吸引而开始了解kpop。但其实是我在过去六年的潜移默化中早已形成了对欧美、华语的taste，从而丝滑入坑韩语。（exo）
Upon entering college, I finally met K-pop in the early winter of 2022—an encounter that was always destined to occur in my lifetime. Had I not followed talent shows in middle school, binged Chinese music variety in high school, and developed a solid grasp of domestic and international genres, I might still have bypassed K-pop today. On the surface, my entry into K-pop seemed sparked by a college buddy watching IVE’s performance at the MAMA Awards; mesmerized at first glance by An Yu-jin’s breathtaking beauty, I began digging deeper. Yet the deeper truth is that over the previous six years, my tastes in Western and Chinese music had already quietly matured, paving a seamless runway into Korean pop. (EXO)
回首向来萧瑟处，我作文素材本上其实早已出现过直井怜的名字，只是当时以为她是一个日本大作家罢了😄之后第一个认识的女团就是ive。大学的第一学期，冥冥之中遇见了C学姐，她帮助我走出了上半年所困扰我许久的学业与情感问题（最后和平分手）；冥冥之中又遇见了kpop，未来眼见还会喜欢很久很久。（柳姐泡泡）
Looking back on the desolate road traveled, Naoi Rei’s name had actually already surfaced in my high school essay notebook—though at the time I merely assumed she was some eminent Japanese author 😄. IVE naturally became the first girl group I got to know. In my first semester of university, serendipity led me to Senior C, who helped guide me through the academic and emotional turmoil that had plagued the first half of my year (culminating in a peaceful breakup); and serendipity led me to K-pop, something I expect to love for a very long time. (Karina’s Bubble)
在这里把这一学期的奇妙遭遇分享给大家，今天在宗祠时再次祭祖时较去年有恍如隔世之感。愿大家在新的一年都能享受生活，遇见终将遇见的更好的自己。
I share these wondrous encounters of this semester with you all. Standing in our ancestral temple today to pay respects to my forebears, the sensation of an epoch having passed was far sharper than last year. May everyone savor life in the new year, meeting that better self you were always destined to encounter.